Before you start reading this blog I want you to listen very carefully. If your in a relationship with a person in prison or close friends with someone behind the wall this blog is for you. I want to stress the words “Handling their business.” If your special someone is handling their business while in prison by programming, furthering their education and doing all the right things than continue to support, love and deal with them. Now if your involved with someone in prison and they are bullshitting you and selling you a dream and are more of a dependant than a mate or close friend than listen closely.
Some of the best personal and romantic relationships can happen with someone in prison and a free world person. Such relationships are unique and are “Out of this world” and seem to have a special magic all of their own. Developing a long distance relationship under such conditions can be very romantic, dramatic and exciting. Now here is the cold truth that most people dealing with someone in prison don’t want to hear. Most Inmates in prison and I’m talking a good 85% have no real solid plans prior to being released. If they’re not programming, talking positive, or want to change from their past criminal ways, you need to really sit back and think “Do I really want to be with him or her?” Most bullshitting inmates offer the best of themselves yet hide the worst. They promise what the other wants to hear, but truly that are just selling you a dream. When taking a magnifying glass and closely examining such relationships what you will find are relationships which lack the elements needed to be successful after incarceration.
The partners deal with fantasy and illusion. They make elaborate plans for the future, but their plans are built on bullshit and wasting time. Their plans are vulnerable to what really lies ahead when the Inmate is released. To be 100% honest and I say this from 16 1/2 yrs in prison and dealing with inmates 24/7. The factors it’s going to take to build a healthy, rewarding relationship with a bullshitting inmate are absent. Now this doesn’t mean that all prison relationships are bad. I’m simply stating to anyone who is dealing with someone in prison its a MUST to make sure the inmate is about positive change or your wasting your time. If you have a keeper and someone that came to prison and seen the light and has used prison to not only improve there life but you can see positive change in their actions, Congratulations!